Balance

For those who don't know, I'm a speech pathologist at a school for kids with special needs. I love my job, and it's what keeps me busy from thinking about wanting a baby every second of the day. It has given me the chance to "be a mom" while waiting for God to bless me with my own kids. This school year has been a little different than usual. I had always planned to work part time (or not at all, if possible) once we had kids. So last spring when we were in a match, I talked with my supervisor and planned to work part time starting in the fall (this academic year). When the adoption fell through, Dan and I decided that I would continue with my plan to work part time this year in hopes that we would be blessed with a baby soon.

We have received a few calls, but unfortunately we have yet to bring home a baby. At first, it felt very awkward working only half the work week. On my days off, I felt guilty staying home as Dan left in the morning. After a few months, though, I started to realize that I'm significantly less stressed, enjoy my job more, and have more time for myself and my husband. Sure, I was able to get everything I needed to done when I worked full time, but now I'm finding myself enjoying everything more. This time at home is giving me the opportunity to really enjoy spending time with my husband, making dinner, doing laundry, and all the little things around the house. Even cleaning bathrooms sometimes brings me a sense of satisfaction. Don't get me wrong, it still takes me a big push to get moving and do the chores- the couch is often calling my name. But I have most certainly been affirmed in my calling to be a wife and someday mother. Serving my family is bringing me so much joy and fulfillment.

So this change, although scary at first has brought me exactly what I didn't realize I've needed for a long time... balance. I'm still putting my education to use and helping provide for our family by working, but at the same time I feel like I can really enjoy everything else as well. So as much as I am dying for a change (ahem, a baby) I have learned that God is taking this time to show me the beauty of the life I am living right now. I can choose to be happy and find fulfillment in my calling right now, or sit around and be miserable all the time. So I'm choosing to enjoy this time and just be miserable some of the time. I'd be kidding myself if I said I was never feeling discouraged, but what used to be days that would leave me down in the dumps has turned into little moments that pass just as quickly as they came. I have so much to be grateful for. I just needed a little time- time to heal wounds, time with the ones I love, and time for change.

Prayers for a Friend

Throughout this journey of infertility and adoption I have learned the importance of prayer and support from friends and family- especially from those who know exactly what it feels like to go through. We have been blessed with the support and understanding of one particular couple. They know all too well what this journey is like and have been there to vent and rejoice in our little victories. They understand that unavoidable pang of jealousy or sadness in the everyday encounters of what seems to be a very fertile world around us. They also understand the incredible power and comfort of prayer. And that is the purpose of this post today.

This afternoon, I received an email with extraordinary news. They are pregnant! Although this is extremely exciting, it can also be scary and full of unknowns, as they have experienced 2 miscarriages in the past. They have decided to storm heaven with prayers, with a goal of 5,000 Memorares between now and 12 weeks. If you would like to be a prayer warrior for our friends and their newest little blessing, please visit their post To All the Prayer Warriors and make a pledge to pray for their baby. 

Thanks!

Hope

Despite many of the obstacles that this journey through infertility and adoption seem to throw in my face, there are days when I am grateful that God has given me this challenge. Today is one of those days. Though I'm not particularly thrilled to be faced with a challenge, I'm blessed for the ways it has changed me constantly. My point is that there are some things that have come to light through these challenges that I am grateful to have had the opportunity to discover. I have always been pro-life, but after all we have been through, my respect for life has multiplied time and time again. I have had a chance to truly recognize how absolutely precious and incredible the gift of life is. It is something that can be and is abused constantly, particularly through abortion. On this anniversary of Roe vs. Wade (the Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion in the U.S.) let us pray that more women (and the men in their lives) choose life. May they find courage and support in making this incredibly selfless and honorable decision. Maybe instead of passing judgment on a young woman who is pregnant, we should celebrate her decision to choose life!

I will be praying a novena, starting today, to St. John Bosco. This is a novena for hope, particularly hope in our world, that we may wipe out abortion. If you would like to join me in praying this novena, you can sign up at Pray More Novenas. It is a wonderful site, run by an alum of the University of Illinois and creator of a pro-life nonprofit organization. If you sign up, you will join thousands of others praying novenas throughout the year. We usually pray one novena each month or so. During these novenas you will receive daily email reminders with the prayers for the day. I really love being a part of this giant prayer group. It has helped me to have a better prayer life and pray some novenas I wouldn't have thought to on my own.

 

Networking... Help?

So we have been a part of the pool of waiting families at our agency for a good 16 months now... not that we're counting or anything. I talked to our counselor last week, and she suggested we find more ways to network. So right now I'm doing my research and finding it incredibly overwhelming trying to figure out the best websites to post on and to come up with other ideas. So far we have made a youtube slideshow (which I am in the process of updating), have our Cradle short profile online on their website, told every friend and acquaintance about our hopes to adopt, made a facebook page, and most recently my parents have gotten some help from their pastor (and we plan to talk to ours soon as well).

So here is where I need help. Does anyone know of some successful networking plans for adoptive families? Have you heard of any reputable websites to post profiles that aren't insanely expensive? Any suggestions would be amazing!

To start to take that next step I have created an adoption email so that no personal information is exchanged immediately (to protect ourselves a bit here). We will use this email if and when we choose to advertise more online: danandlisaadopt@gmail.com

Any suggestions would be amazing! You can comment here or send an email to the adoption email account.

Prayers are always amazing too! Thanks for your support!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year a week late! Here is to hoping for a year filled with blessings, growth in faith, and fun. Last year I was saying 2012 would be the year we'd become parents. Here is to hoping for a baby in 2013! And if that is not the case, I can only ask for peace and patience.

We rang in the new year with some of our most wonderful friends. Here are some pictures from our Dance Central dance party. Enjoy :)

Hope

We got another call from the Cradle a little over a week ago with a request for our profile. I was finally content with the idea of not having a baby by Christmas, or really this year for that matter. And then the phone goes off. Of course, I immediately jump to planning as if this child is already mine (not even close) and could hardly contain my excitement. Fortunately, we were told we'd most likely find out if we were chosen by Christmas Eve. Perfect! We'd have our Christmas miracle! Well, you see, unfortunately this little one just wasn't ours. We got the call early Christmas Eve morning with those dreaded words, "I wish I had better news..."  That never ends well. We've heard that phrase a few too many times this year. I'm pretty sure those counselors have a script they read from with a choice of phrases to use to let us down easy.

I have mixed feelings about this particular situation. Part of me is incredibly frustrated. You can't help but wonder "What's wrong with us?", especially when our profile has been passed on twice in the past 4 months. At the same time, I try to think on the positive end of things. Our profile has been presented twice in the past 4 months AND on the very first time our profile was presented last spring, we were chosen! So these let downs, though frustrating, also bring a bit of hope. These requests for our profile also seem to give me that extra push to pray like crazy. I can't remember the last time I prayed so hard in the course of just a couple days. My prayer life was pretty pathetic there for a while. Funny how God knows how to give me that jump start. Present hope for a baby, and my knees hit the floor! Now the key is to keep it up.... I'm already guilty of falling back into my unmotivated ways.

In related news, our close friends that we met through the Cradle welcomed home their son this week! It's so exciting to see an adoption work out. Talk about hope! We get to meet him next week, and I can't wait!  I just hope we are welcoming home our little one soon. Pray for us!

I have to put in the shameless plug to pass on our information. Please contact us if you know someone with an unplanned pregnancy who is considering adoption. Our agency does not have to find a match for us. We can find someone ourselves as well. More information on us can be found in the following places:

Cradle website: Our Online Profile
Our Facebook page (go to the page and "like" it please): Dan and Lisa Adoption Page
YouTube video: Dan and Lisa Video

Family Prayer

One of those daydreams that I have when I think of us with our kids is how we are going to help to form their faith. Teaching religious education this year has solidified my views on the importance of faith formation beginning at home. If we aren't showing our kids how to pray or being examples of how to participate at mass, how are our kids going to learn these things? Yes, school (if a Catholic school) or religious education can help to reinforce what we have already taught, but it is truly up to us to begin and continue to be a driving force in that process. I was blessed to grow up in a family who prayed before meals each night and spent every Sunday morning at mass. I knelt next to my bed each night to say my prayers, and I always loved setting up our nativity scene for Christmas. I have my parents to thank for leading me in the right direction to growing closer to God. And they continue to be that great example for me by praying for Dan and me and our (hopefully) growing family, through their selfless actions for those they love, and by playing active roles in their parish for years.

Before Dan and I got married, I remember being reminded that an important part of being married is that you are working to get one another to Heaven. Now I truly have a greater understanding of that. I am seeing God's work in action through the conversations we have and the desire to learn together. Dan pushes me to be a better person and to strive to have a better prayer life. I have realized that I still have so much to learn and I have this genius living in the same house as me. Wanna learn more about our faith? Pick my husband's brain. He is so incredibly knowledgeable and just loves sharing that knowledge! He makes me a better person by being an example day in and day out of living the faith. Our kids are going to be so lucky to have such a strong faithful man to guide them.

I realize now, more than ever, the importance of our kids' faith formation starting at home. It begins day one. Kids are born to absorb information like a sponge. And we are the ones they will be looking to most. I have also realized that I need to start practicing this better prayer life now. I'm guilty of letting my day pass by without any true quiet time to really pray. I was good for a while, praying the chaplet, but I haven't even been great about that lately. I have found myself getting jaded with the adoption process.  Unfortunately, in turn, that has been part of the reason that I let my prayer life go a little bit. It can be hard praying for the same thing day in and day out and not feeling like you've received a direct answer besides "not right now". While talking with Dan yesterday, I was reminded of how incredible our faith and our God is. I have so much to learn AND so much to be thankful for. God deserves more of my day than the two minutes I spend begging for a child. He deserves a thank you and some prayers of praise and also penance. 

So yesterday, Dan sent me a link to a blog on how to start a family prayer altar in your home.  We actually have the perfect place to do it on a small table in our front room. Right now, it has our beautiful nativity scene. I think we are going to give this prayer altar a try. Hopefully it will lead to many more discussions and nights of family prayer. While looking at the site he sent, I came across this blog post on praying a family rosary and loved it! I thought I'd add the link here: Tips for Praying a Family Rosary (I particularly like tip #8).  

It's funny. I hate this whole waiting thing when it comes to having a child of our own, but I have seen God move mountains in my life. Little by little, he is molding me into a better mother each day. So despite my frustrations, I can see how He is working constantly preparing this loving home for our children.