Our Adoption Story, Part 2

(Part 1 can be found here).

I can't write the rest of Nathan's story without focusing on his birth mother. She is a woman I have come to love in a very special way and have deep respect for her. I of course won't share any personal information about her, but so much of his story is about her unconditional and selfless love for her child. I just hope that by sharing our story, that in some way I can remind us all of how special, strong, and amazing these women are, the birth mothers. It can be easy to get caught up in the joy of this beautiful child as we celebrate our family, but we wouldn't be this family of three without the selfless decision of one very important woman. As I sit and reflect on the past month or two, I have realized how much she has taught me about a mother's love. Nothing was ever about her. If we turned our focus to her, she always brought it back to Nathan and what was important for him. I only hope that I can be half the mother that she saw in me when choosing Nathan's parents. With all that said, here is a recap of the rest of our journey to bringing him home.

Nathan's birth mother asked us to name him, which we felt so honored and fortunate to have the opportunity to do. She could have named him whatever she would like, and we could have changed his name later if we had wanted. But she told us that she would like him to have the same name on his original birth certificate as what he would grow up with (besides the last name). So we were thrilled to choose his name. She had told us that she wanted a name that meant miracle but that she was having a hard time finding one. So we took a look at our list of favorites, and I started to look up meanings. When I reached Nathan, I knew we had found the perfect name. Nathan means "gift from God". If you ask me, that's such a fitting name for him and that's pretty darn close to miracle. The name Joseph was very special for us too. It is Dan's middle name, along with his dad's and grandpa's. Not to mention St. Joseph. So his middle name was pretty much a no brainer for us. 

So it was finally time to meet her, and of course it was nerve-wracking. The moment we met her, though, everything just felt natural. She really seemed to have her heart set on adoption, and as I said before her love for her child just shined through. We found out that the c-section was scheduled for December 16, and we were invited to care for the baby at the hospital. She wanted us to have that time to immediately bond with him and get to know him. So we left that initial meeting feeling pretty awesome. Even thought we were feeling pretty good about things moving forward, the caution was still there. I really think we guarded our hearts until the day he was born, and even a few days after, but we were definitely slowly becoming more comfortable with the situation. 

After that meeting, when we shared the name we had chosen, she began calling him Nathan. Seeing the name that we had given him in writing just made it seem so much more real. She frequently updated us on her doctor appointments, sent us sweet emails referring to us as mommy and daddy, and we planned another trip to visit her the weekend after Thanksgiving. We were blessed with the opportunity to meet her son, and she gave us a blanket that had been her son's that she wanted to pass on to Nathan. Again, everything she did was out of her incredible selfless love for this child. I continue to be in absolute awe of everything she has done out of love for Nathan.

The next few weeks both flew and crawled at the very same time. I found myself constantly bouncing from excitement to being completely terrified. I felt like every time I referred to bringing him home, I ended my sentences in "hopefully" or "we'll see". I just wanted to know what was to come. Was this really happening, or would we be disappointed again? Until finally, December 15 came around and it was time to travel downstate to meet our son the very next morning. We spent the night before at a beautiful Christmas concert at St. John Cantius followed by appetizers and drinks at TGIFridays. I couldn't have imagined a better night out prior to the whirlwind we knew we were about to experience. I of course have to share some pictures because it was absolutely gorgeous.

How could we spend our evening in that beautiful church filled with music and the presence of the Eucharist and not be at peace? So on Sunday, the 15th we traveled downstate to experience some of the most nerve-wracking, emotional, numb, and joyful days we have experienced. I'm unfortunately going to have to spread this out into one more post because apparently I'm becoming extremely wordy.