Our Adoption Story, Part 1

When we started our adoption journey, I had myself convinced that we would only be waiting for a few months. After all, we were one of the youngest adoptive families. We were sure to be chosen quickly. I was quickly humbled when we waited months without so much as a peep from our agency. After only 7 months of waiting, we were matched for a baby girl, only to have that adoption fall through. At the time it was heartbreaking, and really it killed me for months after. Now I see that God had our little one waiting, and she just wasn't the one. He truly does have incredible plans for us even when it's hard to see.

Over the next year and a half or so, we were called four more times. In three of these cases, the birth mother ultimately chose another family. In one case, she chose to parent. Each call brought more hope (especially when the calls were coming more frequently), but each "no" made it feel like we would never bring home our little one. I never fully lost hope, but I certainly became extremely cautious with my emotions. I learned to build a wall to try not to get too invested in each potential match, and  I often failed. It's hard not to start dreaming of what could be. 

Then we got a request for our profile mid-October. We had recently received two other calls, so we were getting a bit worn out emotionally. We decided to keep things quiet this time. We figured this way we wouldn't be so focused on it while we waited for her decision, and it would be a pretty awesome surprise to be able to call our families and friends and tell them that we were chosen. 

A week passed and we hadn't heard anything (which was pretty consistent with past experiences). Our counselor texted to let us know that they hadn't heard a thing from the birth mother, so we should be prepared for her to parent. At that point we pretty much checked out. We had experienced two other cases in which the birth parents chose to parent, so we knew all too well that it was a strong possibility. So needless to say, I was completely shocked when I had a missed call and text from our counselor on November 1 saying to call her as soon as possible. We were in a match! Baby boy was due December 15 in central Illinois. 

We were still extremely cautious. Our agency was concerned about how long she had taken to choose a family, and she had changed her mind about wanting to meet us. She only wanted email contact for the time being. So we knew to be cautious. Within a few days, we received birthmom's email information, and we exchanged our first emails. Fortunately after just one email, she decided she wanted to meet us and wanted us to be at the hospital and bring baby home upon discharge. We were thrilled! This was a huge step. We knew to continue to be cautious, but we also knew that things were moving in the right direction. We would meet birthmom at the end of November. We knew that things would start to get pretty real at that point...

Quick Takes Friday

This week has been such a blur. We had a wonderful Christmas celebrating with family. It was also a great time to celebrate our Christmas miracle.

1. We spent Christmas Eve with my dad's side of the family at my aunt's house. It was a small crowd, which was nice and relaxing. There was still a line to hold Nathan most of the night. Nathan opened his first Christmas gifts, which was lots of fun!

2. This is one of my favorite pictures we took as a family. Here's my immediate family on Christmas Eve.

3. On Christmas day we headed over to my parents' parish for mass (the same church we got married at and where Nathan will be baptized next week!) After mass, Nathan met the pastor of the parish, who has been very supportive ever since he found out were hoping to adopt. While talking with him, a little boy that was sitting a few pews in front of us during mass came over with his parents for a peak. They told us he thought Nate was baby Jesus :) 

4. We spent the rest of the day at my parents' house and exchanged gifts with them and my brothers. Nathan made out quite well! 

5. He also got to meet my aunts, uncles, and cousins that evening. It was so much fun sharing him with the rest of our family. Those pictures are giving me a hard time with formatting, so I'll just post my favorite of him from the day :) 

6. Nathan met his Grandma and Grandpa (Dan's parents) and Aunt Julie yesterday! He was so excited that he peed all over the living room before they got here. 

7. We can't wait for his shower and baptism next week! We hope everyone had a blessed Christmas.

Check out the link-up over at Jen's.

PS- A bit more of our adoption story will come soon! I just have to get myself to sit down and write.

Quick Takes: Nathan Style

I have been waiting to make this my quick takes for far too long. We got our great news yesterday that we are official, surrenders are signed!!! I will write more about our wonderful experience later. All I have to say is that his birth mother is an incredible woman, and this adoption is even more beautiful than I could have ever imagined! So for Quick Takes this week I'm going to share our sweet little guy.

1. His first moments

2. Our first family picture

3. First bath

4. He found his finger

5. Just chilling

6. Meeting his future girlfriend for the first time

7. They're totally getting married

Introducing...

Nathan Joseph was born at 8:01am, 7lbs 15 oz, 19 inches. He is happy, healthy, and cuddly. Pictures to come later.

7 Quick Takes: Pre-Adoption Edition

I am currently trying to avoid driving myself crazy in anticipation of our (hopefully!) arrival Monday morning. So Quick Takes, here I come!

1 (million): The number of times I washed my hands and disinfected today. Of course just days before our adoption, when my nerves and craziness are at their peak, one of my students came in with lice. And by the way, apparently that isn't reason enough to send a kid home from school or keep them home anymore. Kinda ridiculous if you ask me. If you were around me the past two days, you would have thought I was exposed to the plague with the number of times I washed my clothes, showered, and disinfected my desk. The last thing we need in this house is a mama crawling with lice... shudder... I have now added to my list of prayers for the lice to stay away from this household. I know I'm likely overreacting, but that's just going to happen with all these nerves right now.

2: I was going to think of something meaningful for each number, but I've realized I'm already going to break that on number 2. We bought a new camera last weekend, and I'm really excited to use it next week. We decided to take the leap and get a DSLR, and I think we are going to be really happy with that decision. I know very little about cameras and photography, but fortunately the auto mode on the camera pretty much requires me to aim and shoot. I think I can handle that.

3: Days until baby is here! Eee!!! So exciting :)

4: Have I mentioned how glad I am that I'm officially done with work until February (as long as baby comes home with us, that is). I am sooo sick of work lately, and I welcome the break. I'm so ready for this.

5: I'm also looking forward to the moment I can stop ending my sentences with "hopefully" and "we'll see". I'm ready for this baby to be in our arms and for papers to be signed. Breathe...

6: I'm looking forward to this weekend. We are thankfully going to be pretty busy the next couple of days. Tomorrow night we are going to a concert at one of the churches in the city. This church is absolutely gorgeous, especially around Christmas, and their choirs are amazing. I'm really looking forward to a relaxing evening. I just hope I can sit still and keep my mind at ease. Sunday we are going to the first birthday party of our friends' son. We actually met these friends through the adoption process. We took all of our classes together and have been a support for one another ever since. They adopted their sweet son last year, and it is so exciting to celebrate his birthday this weekend! I hope we will be doing the same thing in our house this time next year :)

7:(30am): If you are awake at that time Monday please keep birthmom, baby, and us in your prayers. She is scheduled for surgery at that time. I will probably be going to one of my go tos that morning of either Memorares, Divine Mercy Chaplet, or attempt a Rosary (if I can stay focused that long). It will likely end up being me repeating please please please over and over again without any coherent prayers.

Have a great weekend!

Gotta have faith

So I had a freak out moment... Okay it was more like a freak out day today. I hadn't heard from birth mom in much longer than usual, so today I decided to go worst case scenario and assume it meant she was having second thoughts. Needless to say, after many prayers begging God for this little one and for even just a response to my email, God told me loud and clear to sit back and trust in Him. Just minutes after finishing my St. Andrew Christmas novena tonight I heard from birth mom and all is well. I can breathe again... I apologize in advance. It is likely going to be a long few days around here  with a good chance of the occasional freak out moment. At least this one is over, and I can rest easy until I scare myself again soon :)

The Countdown

Only 1 week until we are one step closer to becoming parents!!!! My heart aches to hold him/her right now. Pray for us!

Giving Thanks

This post is a few days late, but it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving to talk about the things we're grateful for.

First of all, I'm grateful for this guy.

 

He keeps me sane and laughs at my insanity. He's patient. His faith pushes me in my own faith. He's hardworking. And well, he is pretty much an incredible husband. 

I am blessed with a wonderful family, who has supported us through the toughest stuff these past few years.

We have some of the most wonderful friends, who really are family to us.

We were blessed to become godparents to our beautiful goddaughter, Mary Claire :) 

And yes, this beautiful miracle belongs to Waiting in Joyful Hope. And we get to be her godparents!!!!

I am grateful for this community of Catholic bloggers. I love having the chance to read blogs from incredible women who have been through the difficulty of infertility and come out the other side through adoption or pregnancy, who are still carrying this cross, who have beautiful insight and give encouragement when I need it most, who share their parenting ideas which are awesome and Catholic, who remind me of the joy that is to come with hilarious parenting stories and quotes from their little ones, who are my prayer warriors, and who confirm that being Catholic is pretty awesome!

I am beyond grateful for our beautiful experience so far with this match. We have met yet another incredibly strong birth mother, with nothing but pure selfless love for her child. We have been fortunate enough to meet her twice and talk with her through email frequently. Both of these things have helped to ease some of our nerves. The sheer terror has subsided to occasional moments of my stomach dropping in fear... improvement? I'll take it. We got the sweetest ultrasound pics of this little one yesterday. And I seriously can not wait for him/her to be in my arms (We know the gender but are trying our best to keep it a surprise- so far it's not working so well). C section is scheduled for Dec. 16. Please keep us all in your prayers! 

I like sharing good news

I have to say that it is so refreshing to be able to share lots of good news on here lately. Thank you so much for your prayers. Keep them coming! Our match meeting went sooooo well yesterday. The birth mother is so sweet and seems very serious about her decision to move forward with adoption. We know all too well that anything can happen, but at this moment we are feeling good about everything. Our counselor is as well, which is huge! A c section is scheduled for December 16, so please continue to keep all of us in your prayers.

Cautiously Optimistic

The other day I asked for prayers, so I thought I'd give some more details. We are in a match with a birth mother due in just a few weeks! As I'm typing these words my stomach is twisting into about a million knots, which is why I haven't posted this sooner. We have known for a couple weeks, but we kept it pretty quiet for a while. We are extremely nervous. We've been through this before. In the end, we came home from the hospital with an empty car seat and baskets of baby clothes to store away. And that still breaks my heart to think about. I can't imagine having to go through that again. And yet, here we are again. We're putting ourselves out there with our hearts on our sleeves. We can try to distance ourselves, but at the end of the day what good does that do? This may be our child, who we may actually bring home and share our lives with forever. We should be excited and prepare for that. The sting of the heartbreak is just so painful, which is why I feel like I'm stuck. One minute I'm extremely excited, and the next I'm having a panic attack. I feel like each new person I tell, it becomes more real. And the reality that it could end in heartbreak again also becomes real. And that is why I ask for your prayers. Pray for us, that we can enjoy this time of preparation, that this birth mother will be guided in her decisions for what is best for her and her child, and that we can accept whatever that may be. I hate to admit it, but it pains me to even write that. I just want to scream out, pray that we bring home this baby! Blah, this adoption stuff is most certainly not easy. So please keep us in your prayers. I ask that you pray that we may bring home our child soon. Hopefully this is it, but if it isn't that it happens soon. I'm not sure how much more I have in me. I have said that about a million times throughout this adoption journey, that I just can't go through these steps all over again. I always find the strength, but my tank is getting close to empty. 

Now that I have dumped a million emotions onto the page, let me share the exciting things! Over the past few months, we have been called three times about potential matches. One ended with a mother choosing to parent before she chose a family, another ended with her choosing a different family, and the last is our current match. After going through two disappointments in just a couple months, we decided to keep the third call to ourselves. Each call gave us more hope (as we have never had so many in such a short period of time). At the same time, each time we got a call we got super excited, told a bunch of people, and we all were on edge for two weeks. So this time, we decided not to tell anyone. It was actually one of the best ideas we've had in a while. Somehow, without anyone knowing about it there just wasn't as much stress around it. It didn't feel like as many feelings were on the line. I was able to actually forget about it for a few minutes a day. 

About a week in, we hadn't heard a thing. Our counselor was preparing us for the birth mother to choose to parent. So at that point we pretty much checked out. It just didn't seem like it was going to happen. At the end of that week, our counselor called to tell us we were in a match. My jaw nearly hit the floor. I was completely shocked. It was so amazing completely surprising our families. So now, here we are. We meet the birth mother this Wednesday, as in two days from now! We are so excited, but we are probably even more scared. So here we are trying to be cautiously optimistic, the lovely term we hear all too often from our agency (Along with the term red flags... that's another favorite). Please continue to keep us, this baby, and this birth mother in your prayers. We have 4 weeks until the due date. It's going to be a long month.

Prayers always appreciated

It has been a while since I last posted. Work has been really busy, and we seem to have quite a bit going on right now. We just wanted to ask for prayers from all you prayer warriors out there. Will share more later. Thanks!

Prayers!

There is a family in desperate need of prayers, and I know I can count on this community here to drop to your knees in prayer. Today at work a friend of mine shared an absolutely heart wrenching situation that her best friend is going through. I have met her friend a few times, and she is an incredibly sweet woman. This woman and her husband are expecting a baby, and they just found out that he has Trisomy 18. I honestly don't know very much about it, but from what was explained to me there is an extremely high chance that he could be stillborn. And less than 10% of these children live past one year. As you can imagine, this couple is struggling immensely. My friend mentioned that her friend is struggling with the decision of "what to do", and with the way this mother was talking to her it sounds like terminating the pregnancy is one of the options being considered. My heart ached for this family immediately, but when I heard about this consideration my heart broke into about a million pieces. Please join me in prayer for an increase in faith and hope for all those affected by this news and for guidance for this young couple. Pray that they choose life for their little guy. I'm also praying for a miracle, that baby boy may grow and thrive.

The Bathroom Reveal

The bathroom is finally completely done, except for some small paint touch-ups (someday I will stop having to complete that sentence with "except"). I thought I'd share some before and after pics. So here goes...

Before...

There was a jacuzzi tub along the back wall gathering dust... never used. 

The shower leaked, causing a water spot on our living room ceiling- so again, never used after the initial discovery. The toilet was tucked into a little nook- ignore the lifted toilet seat!

Dan's sink clogged majorly despite several uses of Drano. The mirror is the largest known to man for a bathroom. No one needs to be able to sit on the toilet and see themselves in the mirror!

After...

Remember that wall with the jacuzzi? I don't know about you, but I think this is much better! Introducing our double shower, with rain shower and what we call the "power shower" with body jets. This in itself was worth every day of that worker in our house, even if it went on waaaaaaaaay too long.

The toilet kept its location, but the old leaky shower had to go. It was replaced by Dan's very own vanity. Now he doesn't have to deal with all of my hair and makeup all over his space. He was quite happy about that!

The double vanity turned into my very own vanity, along with a linen cabinet. 

I have a feeling this is going to be our last remodel for a looooooooong time.

Have you ever...

had one of those moments where you see a pregnant woman who looks on the younger side without a wedding ring and had to actually stop yourself from inquiring if she is considering placing her child for adoption? Yea... I had that exact moment tonight, at a church meeting of all places. I had to seriously talk myself out of saying something. Not like I actually would, but I will say the urge grows stronger with every passing day that goes by childless in this house. That is all.

Blessed!

I have some wonderful news to share. Megan over at Waiting in Joyful Hope asked me to share that the long awaited arrival of Baby K is finally here! Mary Claire was born in the wee hours of the morning on October 7. Both mom and baby are doing wonderfully. This miracle child is a true testament to the incredible power of prayer, as I was told that around 43,000 (!!!!) Memorares were prayed for this little one. Congrats Megan and Kevin! I know I can't wait to meet her!

Isn't she the sweetest?!?

Stuck

Today is one of those days where I feel stuck. Every once in a while, I have a day where I get ridiculously impatient with life and want to just speed up this whole adoption process. So I find myself looking around online at useless webpages in search of this miraculous solution to getting a baby, as in bring one home today. That's realistic, right? Then I look around to see if there is anything I can post on our Facebook adoption page to try to get more people to check it out, while at the same time not annoying every person who has liked it by asking them to spread the word for the 50th time. If you haven't already, follow the tabs at the top of the page to our adoption links and "like" us on Facebook to spread the word. (Shameless plug! I couldn't resist.) And after all this, I always end up with nothing to show for it, and I've wasted a couple hours, not to mention ignored my husband during the time we can actually relax and spend together. 

Lately I have been so busy at work that I haven't been letting it all get to me as much, but this weekend we had no particular plans, so it all just became so much more in my face and on my mind. A lot of our friends now have kids and can't just go out at the drop of a hat anymore. And so we find ourselves even more lost in this place between just married and parenting. People who just got married are having babies already, and it feels unfair to be married 5 years and still be a family of two. I know that we don't "deserve" a child, as a child is purely a gift. It's really not up to us. And I know God has great plans for us, even if sometimes it feels like we've made a wrong turn somehow that has gotten us in this totally lost place. I know and believe all these things, but it doesn't mean that I won't have a day like today where I get greedy and want control.

I've really struggled a lot with just living my life and not always focusing on the future. I've been at a standstill for the past couple of years, and it is just so silly. I am so very blessed, but all I can seem to do is focus on this desire for a child most of the time. It's beginning to feel like it will never happen. And so here I am... stuck.

At least I'm not alone in the wait :)

7 Quick Takes #3

I haven't really had much time or motivation to write anything lately, so I guess doing a quick takes link-up is a good place to start. So here goes. Since work has been the main thing going on right now, that's what I'm focusing on this time. I guess a break from the baby drama isn't the worst thing once in a while.

Have I mentioned how much I love the new class on my caseload? (at my new school, not the rough one) Oh, let me count the ways...

1. I love the staff that I work with. The teacher is Catholic, as in we sit at lunch and have conversations about it. It's pretty wonderful! And her uncle is a priest. It's just so darn refreshing!

2. I laugh or hold back a laugh at least 10 times a day! We have kids breaking into yoga poses randomly, squirrel funerals (see #4), one kid telling another to "Get outta here!" and using it quite appropriately I must say, a little dance we call the Friday dance, and a little peanut whose giggle is just infectious.

3. We take a community trip almost every Friday. And we are talking fun stuff here... mini golfing, apple orchard, McDonalds, the library, just to name a few.

4. They named a squirrel that hangs out near the school (probably actually several different squirrels) Chewy. They recently witnessed Chewy's friend Thewy get hit by a car. May he rest in peace.

Orginal photo here

5. When asked his favorite restaurant, one of the kids was trying to think of the name of his. He said, "It starts with an S (turns out it was an H), has two O's, and there's an owl!" Anyone wanna take a guess as to which restaurant this sweet, innocent 3rd grader was talking about? Yup, Hooters... oh boy!

6. They remember what I teach them a whole week later! It's pretty amazing :) I'm not exactly used to that. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the kids I have worked with in the past, but this is certainly refreshing.

7. If I could, I would seriously take home each and every one of them. There really isn't a bad one in the bunch. Sure they get silly- cheating at games and sneaking links for their reward system- but they are just so full of joy. It's hard to get upset with any one of them.

7.5 I ran out of quick takes without sharing the best story yet. Now, I wasn't here for this one, but it's still just as good hearing it secondhand. So almost all of our kids take a bus to and from school. Each bus has a bus driver and an assistant. The kids wear a harness, so the assistant's job is to hook their harnesses on the bus. Keep that in mind as I continue. On the bus that most of my students take, it is a husband and wife team. The husband, Mr. E drives, and his wife assists on the bus. One day, one of the assistants in our classroom asked one of the kids who the lady was that helped Mr. E on the bus. Our student responded, "Oh, that's his hooker."

Original photo found here

(Keep in mind, this student has no clue of the meaning of the word you are probably thinking- I hope. He just knows she hooks his harness on the bus!) That goes down as one of the best stories to date at work.

And that is why the new classroom on my caseload rocks!

Just Because

I came across this on Facebook today and thought I'd share :)

Patience

My husband shared this meditation on patience with me. It is excellent and so fitting for my life right now. I highly recommend reading it! I hope you enjoy it too.

Meditation on Patience

(This is the September meditation. After this month you should be able to find it in the archives through the same link.)

Quick Takes #2

Wow, I am actually participating in the link-up here two weeks in a row. So here goes...

1. We found out Wednesday that the birth mother we were presented to has decided on another family. I was surprisingly calm with the wait this time around. I'm really grateful it wasn't a long one! It still stings, though, to be passed over yet again. I know, I know we will be blessed with the child that is meant to join our family (I truly do believe that), but why can't it be now? 

2. Another reason (besides the obvious one) that I want an adoption to finally happen is that I so desperately want to go back part time. This whole full time thing is overrated. I feel like it has been way more tiring than I ever remembered when I worked full time in the past. I mean it's 9:30 on a Friday night and I probably could have gone to sleep 2 hours ago. 

3. My Wednesday class was a nightmare this week. I don't even feel like writing about it. Pray that my patience grows immensely and that perhaps I can get through a day without being swung at or spit at. That's not too much to ask, right?

4. Now onto more positive things from the week... Last night we saw Kevin James at the Chicago Theatre. Besides the giant tall man sitting in front of me, it was a good show! It felt good to go out and forget about everything else going on right now. Plus we had pretty good seats, first level, about halfway back. 

5. Today I got to see the kids at my new school. They were my saving grace this week! We took them to Jewel today on our community trip. They have a Kid's Club where the kids get a card that can be scanned  each visit and is good for a free apple or banana to promote healthy eating. I had never heard of this before but thought it was really cool. I guess I'm easily impressed. The kids were each able to pick out their fruit and "pay" at the register. They also got free cookies and hats from the fish counter. You should have seen the looks on their faces when they were handed those hats. It's so much fun seeing them experience and enjoy the little joys in life.

6. While we were at Jewel, we of course had to stop by the bakery to pick up some free cookies. While we were there, one of my little guys was checking out the cakes. His birthday is next week. Well, he spotted a cake that had a sell by date of his birthday. So clearly, that meant it was his cake. He started to take it off the shelf since it was his cake, after all. We had to remind him to ask his mom for a cake. It was just too stinkin' cute!

7. We can actually use the shower in our remodeled bathroom again! Glass went in the other day. We are going to clean everything up tomorrow so we can finally start using that bathroom. I can't wait to try out those body jets. At least now I will have that fabulous shower to come home to on my frustrating days at work. 

Have a great weekend!

So long for now...

...to our pool. We enjoyed swimming on hot summer days but just didn't love it enough to repair it. Next up, the demolition of the deck! Our yard is going to be huge. What to do with it? The possibilities are endless :)

Quick Takes Numero Uno

I thought I'd try out the 7 Quick Takes link-up over at Conversion Diary. I have been reading everyone else's for so long, and every Friday I think it would be fun to try out. Then I go to post and realize I don't have the energy to think of 7 things to post about, so we'll see how this goes.

1. I was going to put this one last for the big finale, but I wanted to be sure you see it (in case this ends up being boring and you stop reading after number 1!) Exciting news yet again! We got another call this week about another potential adoptive situation. We are being presented to another birth mother, along with 5 other families. Baby is due in November. Please keep everyone involved in your prayers!!!! We are excited but keeping pretty calm this time around. This is the fifth time our long profile has been presented in the past two years (and we've only been chosen once), so we realize the reality that there are 5 other families who could be chosen. I think after letting myself be completely consumed and convinced that it was IT last time has made me extra cautious this time. So we'll see what happens. I think I am finally at peace because I feel like our profile is finally getting some action. This is the second time in the past 2-3 weeks that we have been presented. That's promising! Profiles are being presented Monday, I think, so we'll see if I continue to stay calm after that.

2. We spent last weekend at a family reunion with Dan's family in Effingham. It was a great time visiting with family, which involved lots of eating delicious food from some of my favorite local places, including sundaes with twinkle coat. Can't beat that. If you've never had twinkle coat, you are missing out! There was also some intense game playing of Left, Center, Right and lots of music to be played. There is quite a bit of musical talent in the family, so I always really enjoy listening to them. Here's the siblings (his mom's side) performing together Saturday night.

I stole this from Dan's cousin, Jamie's Facebook since I didn't get any pictures myself

3. I got to spend Tuesday night with my So You Think You Can Dance buddy Julie and her hilarious 15 month old daughter. This kid was walking around my living room doing the Weekend At Bernie's walk. She one day discovered that people thought it was funny and apparently continues to do it for laughs now. She has one of the biggest smiles and lights up the room. Not much actual dance watching happened because the little lady was putting on her own show, but I honestly didn't care. She gives me some of that "baby time" that I so desperately need every once in a while.

Don't let her shy little look here fool you. She's quite the entertainer!

4. From the moment my work week started I was dreading Wednesday. That is one of the days I spend in my awful room (the other is Monday, so I got a break with the day off this week!) I seriously don't think I have ever dreaded going to work so much in the past four years I worked there. So on my lovely commute (which by the way is starting to feel way too long lately) I decided to pray a Divine Mercy Chaplet, take a deep breath, and hope for the best. I decided to make the most of it and push to do the most I could attempt to accomplish in the most chaotic room I've worked in to date. Let me tell you, in case you didn't know, God is so good! I had a great day in the room that day. I'm not going to say that I love the room. I don't even think I would venture to say I like it, BUT I'm going to make the most of it. A couple of the students have a lot more skills than I had realized. One of them is even pretty good at using a communication app on his iPad, which could be really cool to work on this year. The hair pulling, swatting, and being yanked around the room was not as plentiful as last week. I even got the wanderer to sit down for a few using my firm "mom voice", as we call it at work. I can only hope that the room keeps getting better each week, but I'm not going to get too confident yet. I'd rather be prepared for the worst and be pleasantly surprised. 

5. Have I mentioned that I absolutely adore my little sweethearts at my new school? They are seriously the sweetest group of kids. There really isn't a rotten apple in the bunch. There are a few that I can tell are going to try to give me a run for my money on occasion, but overall I really can't complain. They are also really bright, can carry on a conversation with me, and remember things from our language group the previous week. I could definitely get used to this!

6. Tomorrow Dan and my brother, James, plan on starting to take down our pool. I have some monstrous weeds to pull in my "garden" that I never got around to planting anything in this summer. It's seriously a jungle out there. Then we're heading over to the Rib Fest at my parents' parish. It should be a good day :)

7. The bathroom is sooooo close to being done! Glass is being installed Tuesday, and then we can finally use it :) I can't wait!!!! 

These quick takes ended up being not so quick... Have a great weekend!

It's been a while...

... and there really isn't all that much to write about. The school year has started, and it has been pretty crazy so far. This whole working full time thing is overrated, if you ask me. It's been exhausting! I think it's going to take me a while to get used to it again. I absolutely love my new classroom at an outlying site 2.5 days a week! The kids are so sweet and make me laugh too many times to count each day. It's going to be a lot of work getting myself used to the type of therapy I need to provide for them. They are working on higher level skills than I have worked on in years. But I think once I get into the groove of things, it's going to be amazing! Unfortunately, I can't say I feel the same about my caseload at the location I have been working at since I started. I have had one of the rooms for the past 5 years and do still enjoy working with the kids and staff in there. BUT my other class is new, and if things keep up with the way they were this past week it's going to be absolutely awful. I'm not exaggerating here either. They put all kids with severe behaviors in one classroom, threw in a new teacher, half the staff is new, gave them no supplies, and said have at it! So after one day of being pulled around the room, pinched, hair pulled, swatted at, and my arm nearly twisted off... I kinda wanna leave and never come back. I can only hope it will get better. My hope is that we are blessed with a baby soon so I can go back to part time and hopefully just keep my new amazing room of well behaved sweeties.

In other news, the bathroom is almost finished. The main work is completed (and has been for over a week), thank goodness! We just have painting, which will be done Wednesday by a family friend. Then the glass for the shower will be installed next Tuesday. And we will finally be able to shower in our incredible shower (which I'm so desperately going to need after work on those days I'm in my rough room!). I'll post before and after pics once it is 100% done.

Lately we've had pretty much anything that can go wrong, go wrong. Most of it was with the bathroom, but our streak of bad luck has continued. I came home from work last Thursday to find this...

The hose had been running all day to fill up the evaporated water... it only takes a little over an hour to refill. Whoops! We're not entirely sure what exactly happened. Dan was home all day and didn't even hear it fall to pieces. So we will never know exactly what happened. At first we freaked a little, but to be honest we were thinking about getting rid of it anyways. We just weren't using it enough for the amount of money and time we dump into it each year. At this point all we can do is laugh. So now we will have another job in progress very soon. Fortunately we have some family that enjoy demolition :) Another perk is that this is going to open up our yard quite a bit. So bye bye pool! 

I'm sure there is more that I missed, but that's all I could think of for now. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We are so very ready to bring home baby- it's about time for him or her to find us! 

Blah

We got our final update today. Birthmom decided to parent, so back to the wait list we go. I was much more insightful and glass half full earlier, but right now I'm battling a headache and the emotional trauma of the recent discovery that our FINALLY completed remodeled bathroom has a leak somewhere that is leaving a water mark in our living room... seriously can't catch a break today... so I will have to leave the more reflective post for another day.

Small Update

Please pray, especially for baby boy's birth mom. We heard today from our counselor, and the update is pretty much that there isn't one. It sounds like birth mom is having a very difficult time (as I can only imagine). We aren't sure at this point if she will choose a family or decide to parent. Please keep all those involved in your prayers, but especially her and baby boy.

And wait...

Still no news. I just have to say that I am so overwhelmed by how many people have been praying and showing their support. We are so incredibly blessed! Keep 'em coming :)

No news...

is good news, right? Still waiting and going crazy! I can't even begin to express how blessed we are for all of the support from family and friends. Keep those prayers coming :)

And We Wait

I think this is the worst part of the whole adoption process- the wait between finding out you are in the running to be chosen for a particular child and getting THE call as to whether or not the birth parents have chosen you. It reminds me of this post from Holy Saturday and the video linked within it. Right now I am battling all those feelings of wanting to get excited and feeling like this is finally it, but I'm afraid of the let down if it's not. Sure, we can get through the disappointment- we've done it before. Just when I think I can't truck on any longer, I always find the strength (praise the Lord!). It doesn't make the disappointment any easier, though.

Just reading through all the information about baby and the birth parents, everything just feels so right, like this is most certainly our child. But we just can't predict what will happen. Maybe this call was to lift our spirits and remind us that God does have a child for us, even if it isn't this little one. Or maybe this is it. Maybe our wait is over, and we could be parents in a matter of a week or so! So as you can imagine, my mind is running about a mile a minute. So I have been doing all that I know how- a lot of praying and a pretty good amount of sleeping/relaxing/reading blogs. I truly believe in the power of our prayers. I'm not sure how they will be answered, but I ask that you join me in praying for the following: guidance for this birth mother as she makes this incredibly difficult decision, comfort for the birth parents and their families, that baby is blessed with the best family for him, and that we may be content with God's will for us in this situation. My go tos this time around for prayer are the Divine Mercy Chaplet, several Memorares, and the Efficacious Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Please continue to join us in prayer for these intentions over the next week or so. Thank you for all your prayers and support already!

Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for Us
Our Lady of Good Help, Pray for Us
St. Joseph, foster father of Jesus, Pray for Us
St. Faustina, Pray for Us
St. Gerard, Pray for Us
St. Anne, Pray for Us
St. Therese of Lisieux, Pray for Us
St. Gianna, Pray for Us
St. Jude, Pray for Us
St. Anthony of Padua, Pray for Us
St. William of Rochester, Pray for Us
St. Maximilian Kolbe, Pray for Us
St. Maximus the Confessor, Pray for Us
All you holy Saints of God, Pray for Us

Calling All Prayer Warriors!!!

We received amazing news yesterday! We are one of 6 families being considered for a baby (already born!!!). I wasn't going to post about it until we find out if we have been chosen or not, but then I realized that we have so many amazing prayer warriors out there. The birth mom will be receiving our long profile on Thursday. So please pray hard for us! We have been through this part of the process 3 times before, and we survived the disappointment when it didn't work out. But I'd of course prefer to not have to go through it again. Please pray that this little one may join our family, if it is God's will. Please also pray for the birth mother and father, baby, and that we may have peace with whatever comes of this.

Going crazy!

I am going just a wee bit crazy around here. I am pretty sure this bathroom will never be done, and I am finding myself wishing back the old one, even if the shower was gross and leaked and was oh so inconveniently wedged behind the door. I just want my house back! I don't know why, but having someone working in my house 5 days a week just makes me ridiculously anxious and annoyed. I feel confined to the living room and am pretty sure this guy judges me for the copious amounts of TV I've been watching. Even I am judging myself for that! Although I did score by randomly coming across the Backstreet Boys on Access Hollywood yesterday... so there are some bright sides to this TV watching (I know I'm almost 28 and still have a thing for that boy band, don't judge!)

It's making me so crazy that I pretty much wish I had to go to work right now so that I could get outta here. And it's not that I can't leave, I can. But I find when I'm here, the worker always has questions for me, and honestly after some issues with short work days in the past I like to keep an eye on making sure a full work day occurs. And of course whenever I do make plans, that is the day he decides to show up several hours late or I have to make my 22342483455th run to the tile store to make an exchange or order more tile or I get called to be told a "new, more accurate" timeline, which is yet to be right. Even the one I was given as recently as yesterday is looking to me to be out the window. So it's safe to say I'm pretty bitter and on edge right now.

Maybe I should give 'em one of these faces and tell 'em who's boss

It would help to have an end in sight. As of now, we don't know when counter tops are being put in which need to be in before they can even measure for the glass for the shower and then that takes close to two weeks to come in. And it's never good when he comes down to tell you that he can't speed things up and that it's moving slowly... wah wah wah. It would have been great to have a more accurate time line from day one. Two weeks? Ha! Start to finish, I'm pretty sure this bad boy will be a solid 6 weeks, at least! So basically I just wrote the lamest post ever, and I'm amazed if anyone even read the whole thing. I just needed to vent. Blah!

Birthday Fun

I've been having a very frustrating day. We are remodeling our bathroom (well hired someone to), and we are on week 4 of a "2 week project". It has been a bumpy road with a lot of frustration and testing of my patience. So I decided I need to focus on something good right now. So I figured I'd post about the past few weeks of events around here, most of which have been celebrating Dan's birthday. 

We usually don't do a whole lot for our birthdays. We usually just have one big dinner celebration at our favorite restaurant for both our birthdays and our anniversary, since it all falls within about two weeks. But this year was different. Dan was celebrating the big 3-0, so we definitely had to do more than just a dinner out for the both of us. 

So I decided that we would celebrate his birthday pretty much this whole month with a surprise each weekend for 3 weeks. It was such a blast, and it was so nice having the chance to give back to my husband for all the wonderful things he does for me. He is such an incredible support for me day in and day out, so I wanted to find a way to show him how much he is appreciated. Over the past few weeks, Dan has been surprised with tickets to a Cardinals game with the guys in the family, shocked by finding our friends from St. Louis in our kitchen when he got home from work the following Friday, and finally a surprise party with some of our closest friends. It has been so much fun!  Thanks to all our family and friends for making these celebrations possible! Here are some pictures from his party :)

Dan and Kevin share a birthday, so we of course sang to both of them! It was Kevin's 27th.
As Dan says, "You'll never catch me!"

Our friends and my brothers taking a break from eating and swimming at the party.

Dan requested a "face cake". And he requested the use of this lovely picture of himself making the same goofy face he is making in the picture below.

Just looking through these pictures did their job. My blood pressure has returned to normal :) I'm sure tomorrow will bring about a new set of frustrations, so you may be hearing from me again.

How We Met

I thought I'd join in on the "How We Met" link-up at Camp Patton. I figured we're closing in on our 5 year anniversary, so it's a fitting time to look back on the beginning of our journey together.

It all started on a car ride down to Champaign the summer of 2005 with my Ditto, one of my best friends Kristin. We were on our way to an Energizer retreat through the Newman Center at U of I. Just months before, Kristin and I had met on our first Koinonia retreat and became instant friends, laughing in the middle of the night over toothbrushes falling to the floor as we climbed our bunks... I don't know why I still remember that moment, but I do know it was then that I knew we'd be friends for the long haul. But since this is supposed to be the story of how Dan and I met and not Kristin... I should keep moving along :)

Me and Kristin on the summer retreat

One of the many things Kristin and I shared in common was our lack of a boyfriend and the desire to find our prince charming. In Koinonia, the saying was that one of three things happened to everyone in the K-community:

1. You meet your spouse
2. You choose a vocation in the religious life
3. You learn to play the guitar

We were determined to make #1 happen for each of us. We were on a mission to find our future husbands that weekend. Little did I know, I actually would! (and Kristin would as well, not long after)

Spending time chatting in small groups, just a few feet away from each other.
I hope you appreciate my mad Paint skills here :)

There wasn't a distinct moment that I met Dan. There really never was an actual introduction. He was on the service team running the weekend, so everyone pretty much knew who he was. We would spend the weekend taking part in all the same activities, hanging out with the same group of people, and I would start to take notice of him. We played cards, kickball, and people password. But we hardly talked. I just kind of took him in and studied him. I quickly realized that he was someone worth pursuing. Kristin and I shared a dorm room for the weekend, and I remember laying up one night telling her that I wasn't sure why but that I thought I liked Dan. And as I type that it sounds awful, but my point was that I barely knew this guy, but there was just something special about him worth looking into. So the weekend ended, and nothing happened between us.

How fitting to have a picture from that weekend with a deck of cards in his hand. Since then, I have watched him habitually carry a deck of cards with him, been wowed by numerous card tricks, and found a soggy deck of cards in our washing machine. 

So the weekend ended without anything really major happening (outside of the great time with friends and of course growth in my faith- it was a retreat after all!). I started wondering how I was going to move forward in getting to know this guy. I figured there would be plenty of opportunities throughout the next year, since we were both very involved in the Koinonia retreat program. Then I got an email that Dan had sent out to the entire community. He was serving as the spiritual coordinator on the service team for our retreat program the upcoming year. He wanted to share his email and AIM screen name (wow I feel old now referring back to AOL instant messaging) for anyone who wanted to get to know him better or share prayer requests. So being the determined gal that I was, I decided to send him an instant message. And so began our conversations that started it all.

When we got back on campus we planned to meet up at the movie on the quad (one of the planned events before classes started). So we sat on a blanket with several of my friends and watched Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a movie that to this day I still have no idea what it was about. All I could focus on was the fact that this incredible guy was sitting next to me, very close next to me with his arms so close to mine. Within the next few weeks, I invited him to join me at one of my best friends, Carolyn's birthday party. That was the night of our first kiss, and everything just fell into place after that. 

At Carolyn's birthday celebration

In the coming months, things moved pretty quickly. We spent every free moment together, I took a trip down to Effingham to meet his family (and he did not live on a farm like I had initially thought), and my family came down and took us out to dinner. He got the stamp of approval from my family and friends. He even passed the test of my roomie and cousin, Lindsay. I knew I had found someone special. We went to formals together, went on social trips with Koinonia, and spent any free time just hanging around together.

I remember being overwhelmed because I was suddenly getting everything I had ever wanted. Was it too good to be true? I of course over-thought everything until one day I just realized there was nothing to think about. He was it. He was the man I had spent so many years praying for. God had answered my prayers in a big way. So of course I figured out that this relationship was for the long haul, and then it was time for us to part ways. Dan was graduating and starting a job in Chicago, and I still had one more year at U of I. Dan, being the incredible man he is, moved to an apartment pretty close to my parents' house so that I could easily visit when I was home from school. The year was hard on both of us, but we made it through and found ourselves constantly talking about getting married. Fortunately I wouldn't have to wait very long. 

The summer after I graduated and moved back home, Dan took me out for one of my best birthdays to date. We had an amazing dinner at Wildfire and spent the rest of the evening at the Signature Lounge in the Hancock building. It was a night I will never forget, and not for the reason you are thinking. He didn't propose that night, but that night it all became even more of a reality. That night, he flat out told me he didn't want to wait any longer to get married. And me, being the nut I am, starting questioning how all this would happen while I was in grad school. Oh Lisa, you have so much to learn! Trust in the Lord, AND grad school just really isn't a reason to put off a wedding when you know who you are going to marry. To this day I still give myself a smack on the forehead for that one.

At the Signature Lounge on my birthday

Well once that idea was in my head, it wasn't going anywhere. I was ready to be engaged. So it was going to be hard for Dan to surprise me, but he pulled it off by making it sound like he had not even started looking at rings. He was busy with work (which was the excuse), and I was starting to feel like getting engaged was no longer important to him. In fact, the night we got engaged he started talking about how coal was worth more than diamonds. And boy was I starting to get annoyed! So that night we went out for a delicious dinner at Olive Garden. All night he talked about having a surprise for me, but after all the talk about not getting a ring I really wasn't expecting an engagement. We walked back into his apartment after dinner, and sure enough there was a box sitting on his coffee table waiting to be opened. And you guessed it, inside was a ring!

The pictures from that night weren't that great of either of us, so here is one from our engagement session.

And so less than one year later, on August 2, 2008 we began this crazy journey. This summer, we will celebrate our fifth anniversary. I can't wait to see what lies ahead!